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Years: I'm over fifty
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Color of my eyes: I’ve got cold gray-green eyes but I use colored contact lenses
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List of top 19 famous quotes and sayings about funny waiter to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs. All Rights Reserved. Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant! I must be cheaper now than I was ten years ago in order to get a laugh. It's not funny now if I leave the table and give the waiter a nickel tip, which was a laugh years ago.

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Privacy Settings. Waiter Quotes. I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?

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I once joked in a book that there are three things you can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he is ready to see you, and you can't go home again. Since the spring ofI have been quietly, even gamely, reassessing point three.

A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter. There are things you just can't do in life. You can't beat the phone company, you can't make a waiter see you until he's ready to see you, and you can't go home again. Famous people are deceptive. Deep down, they're just regular people.

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Like Larry King. We've been friends for forty years.

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He's one of the few guys I know who's really famous. One minute he's talking to the president on his cell phone, and then the next minute he's saying to me, 'Do you think we ought to give the waiter another dollar? With my wife I don't get no respect.

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I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had. Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye. I spent two summers working at Camp Curry and at Yosemite Lodge as a waiter. It gave me a chance to really be there every day - to hike up to Vernal Falls or Nevada Falls. It just took me really deep into it. Yosemite claimed me. It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter. To go to the Oscars for Moneyball - that was pretty amazing.

And to be able to go work with Kathryn Bigelow - that's going to be pretty sweet. Hopefully I don't have to go back to being a waiter. That's still my main goal.

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When I was a waiter, I wanted to be the best waiter I could be and worked to be better at it every day. I wasn't meant to be a cook. It's a profession I accidentally fell into one summer between college semesters while looking for an easy job as a waiter. Nobody would hire me as a server, but one restaurant, in desperate need of a prep cook, told me that if I could hold a knife, I could have a job. I have been working since I was 20, and I'm I actually once averaged out what I had made over my professional life. I think I could have made that much as a waiter or an insurance salesman.

If you're a waiter, the worst thing you can do is go to work resenting your job. This will sound trite - but it's the reality, and part of my personality - yet when I was a waiter, I tried to be the best waiter, and when I was a bingo-caller I tried to be the best bingo-caller. A diplomat these days is nothing, but a head waiter who is allowed to sit down occasionally.

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I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I answered phones. I somehow avoided being a waiter. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the order straight. I'm not much of a multi-tasker. I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh? Restaurants should be democratic; you shouldn't be made to feel privileged for getting a table or being lectured by the waiter. I'm an awful waiter in real life. Maybe I was an awful waiter on screen, too.

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It didn't get any more glamorous than Havana, Cuba, in the s. I used to go there when I was a waiter on a cruise ship.

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It's a funny thing. I'll be in my home town of Columbus at a restaurant or something, and the waiter maybe asks, 'What do you do? Twenty One Pilots,' and he'll say, 'Cool, I'll check it out. I never heard of them. I definitely had fun being a waiter.

Funny waiter famous quotes & sayings

I can't say for sure that I was a good waiter. I think that I made people have a good time. Everything I do, I go to black people. If I have a problem at the airport, I'll go to the black ticket agent. I hope they notice me because I'll get better service. If I'm at a restaurant, I look for the black waiter. Rent-a-Car, give you the upgrade. I was born in Newton, MA. Graduated from Brown University in with honors in English as a playwright. I moved to NYC in and was a professional How someone treats a waiter or doorman can tell you so much about a person.

Steakhouses sort of have this old-school nature to them; they're like museums full of good food.

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It's fun hearing the waiter share his expertise on the different cuts of beef and how they're going to cut up your baked potato. My indifference to money and my spendthrift ways are disgraceful. You have no idea how reckless I am; how often I practically throw money out of the window. I am always making good resolutions, but the next minute I forget and give the waiter eightpence. Unlike in Europe, where serving is often a career rather than a backup plan, American table-waiting remains a bootstrap business, and some of the biggest skeptics of waiter training courses and schools are seasoned servers themselves.

By being a waiter percent, I think I was a lot like any other actor in New York. I had credits because I'd work lunches during the week, and then on a Wednesday would go be lucky enough to be in a movie like 'Kinsey. I haven't had to do anything outside of show business my whole life. I've never been a waiter. I've only worked and gotten paid.

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It hasn't been a classic example of someone slogging through the business. A waiter at the hotel kept telling me that Cape Town is just like a European city, but it's not like that at all.

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It doesn't feel safe, and I didn't really go out at night.